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nothing perfect

by Jeremy Ferrara

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sanniray
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sanniray Forever grateful to have found this voice. Favorite track: outside my mind.
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1.
isn't it 04:47
My open eyes tell me I'm living I am breathing I am singing I am small beside these buildings I am an open mind Impossible to define I am starving I am here beside you And I am learning not to worry Letting life blow right through me But still sometimes I get dizzy In the morning I am turning Into someone I'd rather not know I could never understand All the words I've been told It is such a great big world Isn't it Some scattered trinkets that you left Right on the corner of your desk They're bringing blood bag to my chest now Your life personified In everything I Lay my eyes on now I could never understand All the words I've been told It is such a great big world Isn't it I could never understand All these plans for what I am It is such a great big world Isn't it Isn't it Isn't it...
2.
While you were writing that letter The one you never got to sending I was writing my song The one without that finished ending But you said no song is ever finished Just like this world and how it’s turning It’s just one season that we’re left with Before the next one takes ahold and And I knew I had you locked up In some kind of maze then And I gave you the key out But you always ended up staying It’s just when something in me grows Like a newfound second home Sometimes I wanna get there on my own But sometimes I just want to lie down Right there by your side Ya, sometimes I wanna live outside my mind And all these people keep me busy In this filthy tired city But I’m in love with how it fills me so quick like the frames of a movie But maybe I’ll move to the country And stop worrying about money And maybe my mind will stop this moving And I can focus on just one thing Because something in me’s grown Like a newfound second home And this time I wanna get there on my own Ya this time I don’t want to lie down Right there by your side Ya, this time I wanna live inside my mind
3.
Nothing’s perfect now Until you write it out A poem on a page Still show me sunshine Show me those wild eyes That California sky Cause I won’t get enough Until I am enough Until I feel it in my touch But can I choose to be What’s not inside of me? Am I all that I need? Cause I sure can’t be to you All you want me too But I don’t blame you for hoping But maybe we’ll feel alright If we can be alright With loving imperfection Cause I know it’s hard Feeling so far away from All the things you thought you knew But there’s something gained With every change I’ve been Changing all my ways so thank you But still it's so hard to see What's right in front of me I try and wipe my eyes We're singing pretty songs We're singing harmonies This is all that I need I am all that I need
4.
there’s movement in the stillness of the night ~ your bones shaking ~ i know you’ll be alright ~ you’re just lost in time ~ the timing of our lives ~ feeling stuck inside ~ an ever-moving tide ~ a symbol of ~ the motion of my mind ~ an addiction that keeps me running fine ~ ya i’m running fine ~ i’m getting by // and what is this mess ~ and who would want to live in it ~ and all my fears tell me how can i forget ~ and get out of bed ~ start over again ~ can we start over again and take care of it? // so reassure me that ~ this isn’t all i have ~ a tendency to grasp on to a yearning for the past ~ i am yearning for the past

about

all trax recorded, mixed, and mastered by derek ted. additional harmonies and strings engineered by matthew zeltzer. all music written and performed by jeremy ferrara except harmonies/viola by maria maita-keppeler and cello by zach gerzon. cover art by jamey geston. thank you to all my inspiring friends and to derek and kev at sunroom for releasing! xoxo -j

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released March 8, 2019

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Jeremy Ferrara Portland, Oregon

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